Vegas Baby, Vegas

Sorry for the vacation week I took everyone, but posting to the blog from Las Vegas just wasn't on my list of things to do.

However, having spent the last week in the city of sin, I now have a couple of things to talk about.

First off, if I was a smoker, I'm pretty sure I'd go live in Las Vegas. LV is the only place left in the country where smokers win the "Can I smoke here?" arguments. Only in Vegas would a smoker sit at a blackjack table, listen to everyone else at the table complain about smoking, and then choose to light up anyway. I love it.

Another great things about smoking in Las Vegas is the cigarette girls. I don't know how many of you used to watch cartoons a lot and would recognize the "cigarettes girl voice" from some of the old Bugs Bunny cartoons, but if you do, go to Las Vegas. Not all of the girls, but most of them, have apparently been trained to say it in that exact voice. And just hearing one girl go "cigahreyttes" is completely worth the plane ride.

Speaking of plane rides, let me highly recommend Spirit airlines as the only way to travel. Especially if you enjoy metal screeching noises that scare the shit out of you and the plane rattling a lot during the landing and generally feeling like it might fall apart at any given moment. Nobody beats Spirit when it comes to terrifying their customers.

My final impression from Las Vegas is that the ONLY place to stay there is Caesar's Palace, assuming of course that you're fuck off rich. The place is fucking fantastic. It's the most ostentatious thing I've ever seen in real life. They don't build things like that in this country. You have to go to Versailles to get that level of over the top decadence. It's great.

Moving out of Las Vegas, for those who haven't been watching the news lately, they found a guy who may have kidnapped Jon Benet Ramsey...maybe. The only thing I can tell you about him is that his d's look like lowercase deltas. So maybe he's a mathematician or something. I have no idea.

My thought on the Ramsey thing is actually this: Jon Benet is a weird looking kid. Seriously, she looks kind of freaky. She's got sort of a village of the damned/porcelain doll thing going on. If the guy copped the insanity plea and said he kidnapped her because he thought she was a minion of Satan, I would buy it.

Finally, in some exciting news, Wendy's has unleashed a new flavor of Frostee. Get ready folks, for the ever-exciting, heart pounding, edge of your seat world of...VANILLA.

Wait, what the fuck? Vanilla? Vanilla? That's you're new flavor? Fucking Vanilla?

I'm not a Wendy's fan, so I always assumed they had a vanilla, and everyone just always preferred the chocolate. Who doesn't have vanilla? Coming out with a new flavor of ice cream dessert and having it be vanilla is like coming out with a brand new type of entree: A hamburger...with CHEESE on it. Holy fucking shit, a hamburger with cheese on it? But what will Jehovah think? (Oooh, somebody's gonna get stoned -ed.)

Was there a debate in the Wendy's boardroom over whether the world was ready for a vanilla frostee? Was the guy who proposed this the Rebel of the Wendy's Corporate World? (Sting fucking ruled the WCW - ed.)

And speaking of new fast food offerings, I like that Burger King is calling it's new type of burger a BK Stacker. As if this was a whole new way to make hamburgers, and previously everyone had simply laid all the ingredients out in a line on a super long bun. But not BK, oh no, they're going to freaking STACK things on top of each other. Caraaaaazy.