Behold the Quad-Laser!

As many of you no doubt read, this past Wednesday, electronic circuit boards with LED lights in the shape of Inignot from the cartoon Aqua Teen Hunger Force were found all around Boston as part of an advertising campaign. The campaign backfired when the devices were mistaken for bombs. I can't find a good picture of it, but suffice to say the "device" looks very much like a Lite Brite. Anyway, the Boston authorities actually arrested the two men who put up the boards, and are currently debating pressing charges.

Now this is from CNN: "Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomblike" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged infrastructure and transportation in the city."

Couldn't that be said about pretty much anything? IF mailboxes were explosive they could have damaged the city. IF number two pencils were explosive they could have damaged the city.

IF they were explosive? What sort of fucked up imaginary law enforcement notion is that?

"Your honor, I realize no one was hurt during the encounter, but IF the man's twinkie had in fact been an AK-47 he could have killed them all."

"If the Irish Setter the gentleman was walking had been a mountain lion, people could have seriously been hurt."

"If the young man had chosen not to hug the girl, and instead raped her, she would have suffered years of distress."

So what does he mean by bomblike, you ask? Well, I'll let Attorney General Coakley explain: "It had a very sinister apperance. It had a battery behind it, and wires."

Sounds like a bomb to me. Either that or an alarm clock. But hey, better safe than sorry. That's why I use a sundial at home. I don't trust them wires.

In other news, Defense Secretary Robert Gates gave a press conference and stated, flat out, "We are not planning for a war with Iran."

At first that made me feel a lot better, but then it occured to me that it doesn't really seem like we did any planning for a war with Iraq either.

(Get it? Get it? Cause the war has been mismanaged, you see. It hasn't gone well. Many things have gone wrong. And we can't seem to figure out how to make it work. Almost as if no planning was done beforehand. Ahh, I kill myself.)