A Frobozz Christmas
I'm doing everything I can to maintain my X-mas spirit. Crazed basketball players, drunken Miss USAs and my psychotic internet connection aside, I'm trying to stay jolly dammit. So this post will be a collection of good cheer and merry holiday stories.
Right after I rip on Carmelo Anthony for a bit.
For those who don't treat PTI as their major news source, the NY Knicks and Denver Nuggets had...let's call it a spat...the other night. You can read all about it here.
I don't really have a huge problem with Carmelo taking a swing at Collins. He was trying to stand-up for a teammate, and (stupid or not) you can't get on a guy too much for that. But after connecting solidly with Collins, he proceeded to run away backwards. What the fuck? What kind of third grade bullshit is that?
But what should I expect from a guy with a WB tattoo on his shoulder?
Seriously, he has a tattoo of the WB logo on his shoulder. How did that happen? Here's the only thing I can come up with.
[Carmelo Anthony and his boys are walking back to the hotel after a night out on the road]
Entourage member #1: Man, Earl Boykins is fucking weird tiny.
EM #2: Yeah, playing with him must be freaky, huh Melo? He's like that little mob boss from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.
Carmelo: Shit yeah, dog, that Mob Boss was fucking awesome. But you know who I really loved? Fucking Speedy Gonzales.
EM #1: Hell's yeah fucking Speedy was the man.
EM #2: Dude, is that a tattoo parlor?
Anyway, shitty tattoo selection aside, Carmelo (and everyone else involved) is a moron.
Okay, enough Grinching. Let's get jolly.
First up, in a story of cross-cultural holiday joy, a Rabbi in South Jersey is going to get a kidney transplant from a methodist pastor. I'm certain there's a Kosher joke to be made here, but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
In the giving spirit of the season, a teenager found $24,000 at a movie theater and returned it to the lady it belonged too. Why did the woman have $24,000 in cash on her at the movie theater you ask? Because she "hadn't had time to go to the bank." Hey, I'm happy she got the money back, and mad props to the kid for giving it to her, but some people deserve to get nothing but coal, okay? Who carries $24,000 in their purse to a MOVIE?
Hmm, I should probably go deposit this so I can stop worrying about it, but I really want to see that new Bond movie...I'm sure it can wait. Oh, and I should stop off at the nearest innercity and play some pick-up basketball first too.
What the fuck? If I had $24,000 on me and a hole in my stomach, I'd go to the bank before the hospital. Those EMTs have sticky fingers, I'm just saying.
And it's been a wonderful Christmas for breasts. First up, a Florida judge ruled that Elizabeth Book was not guilty of disorderly conduct for baring her breasts outside some auditorium in Daytona Beach. She was publicly protesting the anti-nudity laws of the city, and the judge ruled that since the city's actions were intended to end her protest they were apparently infringing her right to free speech. God Bless America.
And God Bless Amsterdam, where a new report shows that women's breasts there keep growing, and over a third of the country now have D-cups. If that doesn't fill you the warm glow of Christmas cheer, I don't know what will.
Have a merry X-mas and a happy new year, everyone. I'm taking the next two weeks off, so I'll be re-posting sometime the week of the 8th.
Right after I rip on Carmelo Anthony for a bit.
For those who don't treat PTI as their major news source, the NY Knicks and Denver Nuggets had...let's call it a spat...the other night. You can read all about it here.
I don't really have a huge problem with Carmelo taking a swing at Collins. He was trying to stand-up for a teammate, and (stupid or not) you can't get on a guy too much for that. But after connecting solidly with Collins, he proceeded to run away backwards. What the fuck? What kind of third grade bullshit is that?
But what should I expect from a guy with a WB tattoo on his shoulder?
Seriously, he has a tattoo of the WB logo on his shoulder. How did that happen? Here's the only thing I can come up with.
[Carmelo Anthony and his boys are walking back to the hotel after a night out on the road]
Entourage member #1: Man, Earl Boykins is fucking weird tiny.
EM #2: Yeah, playing with him must be freaky, huh Melo? He's like that little mob boss from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons.
Carmelo: Shit yeah, dog, that Mob Boss was fucking awesome. But you know who I really loved? Fucking Speedy Gonzales.
EM #1: Hell's yeah fucking Speedy was the man.
EM #2: Dude, is that a tattoo parlor?
Anyway, shitty tattoo selection aside, Carmelo (and everyone else involved) is a moron.
Okay, enough Grinching. Let's get jolly.
First up, in a story of cross-cultural holiday joy, a Rabbi in South Jersey is going to get a kidney transplant from a methodist pastor. I'm certain there's a Kosher joke to be made here, but I can't seem to put my finger on it.
In the giving spirit of the season, a teenager found $24,000 at a movie theater and returned it to the lady it belonged too. Why did the woman have $24,000 in cash on her at the movie theater you ask? Because she "hadn't had time to go to the bank." Hey, I'm happy she got the money back, and mad props to the kid for giving it to her, but some people deserve to get nothing but coal, okay? Who carries $24,000 in their purse to a MOVIE?
Hmm, I should probably go deposit this so I can stop worrying about it, but I really want to see that new Bond movie...I'm sure it can wait. Oh, and I should stop off at the nearest innercity and play some pick-up basketball first too.
What the fuck? If I had $24,000 on me and a hole in my stomach, I'd go to the bank before the hospital. Those EMTs have sticky fingers, I'm just saying.
And it's been a wonderful Christmas for breasts. First up, a Florida judge ruled that Elizabeth Book was not guilty of disorderly conduct for baring her breasts outside some auditorium in Daytona Beach. She was publicly protesting the anti-nudity laws of the city, and the judge ruled that since the city's actions were intended to end her protest they were apparently infringing her right to free speech. God Bless America.
And God Bless Amsterdam, where a new report shows that women's breasts there keep growing, and over a third of the country now have D-cups. If that doesn't fill you the warm glow of Christmas cheer, I don't know what will.
Have a merry X-mas and a happy new year, everyone. I'm taking the next two weeks off, so I'll be re-posting sometime the week of the 8th.
posted by drs at 2:41 PM
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