Tom Vilsack 2008: At Least I'm Not Black

First off, sorry about the long break. I never quite got a post together two weeks ago, and then I left on Spring Break. In an attempt at penance, I'll be posting this tonight (a post I started before break) and another post later this week. Moving on.

For those of you who don't obsessively check Google News in search of material for the humor blog that you keep, you may not have heard that Governor Tom Vilsack has withdrawn his name from the race for the Deomocratic nomination for president.

I'm sure many of you share a common question: Who the fuck is Tom Vilsack?

Fair question. Tom Vilsack is the Governor of Iowa. He officially declared that he would be running about three months ago, but everyone had already assumed as much. As near as I can tell he was running solely on home court advantage, hoping that he could do well enough in the Iowa primary that everyone would forget they had no idea who he was.

Astonishingly, this plan didn't work out so well. Governor Visack apparently withdrew because he was finding it too hard to amass campaign funds against Obama and Clinton.

Which leads me to my question: Shouldn't that have occured to his advisors three months ago? Cause if Governor Vilsack had called me, I could have told him that the various NGOs across the country were going to be slightly more likely to give money to the new Golden Boy of the Democratic Party or the wife of the last Democrat people actually liked than some guy from Iowa nobody's ever heard of. And if he had called most of you, you would have asked who the fuck he was, and that probably would have given him basically the same message.

Incidentally, I think at least one candidate for the Democratic nomination should have the slogan indicated in the title of this post. I'm pretty sure a slight modification could actually work for John Edwards. John Edwards 2008: He's White and Has a Penis.

Earlier today, the following headline was posted on Google News: "Protests after US Troops Kill 16 Afghans". Now look, I realize that Afghan is the technically correct term from a person from Afghanistan, but would it really be the end of the world if we changed it? Cause I read a tragic headline like that, and I should be upset, and instead I giggle, because I can't get the image of soldiers mowing down blankets out of my head.

Cause French people don't call themselves French right? It's Francais or something. But we go right ahead and call them French. So why can't we change Afghan to something less silly?

Finally, I considered writing a post about the following website, but I decided I wouldn't be able to write anything funnier than the site itself, so check this out (oh and this isn't safe for work): Teddy Babes.