First Lady, Second Lady, Third Lady...
The most exciting presidential election since 1928 continues to roll on, with a rather interesting episode taking place the other day. In a townhouse meeting, John McCain answered a question about dealing with Iran by parodying the Beach Boys' "Barabra Ann", singing "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran." I shit you not, here's the YouTube clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-zoPgv_nYg
John, who the fuck is advising you on this campaign, Don Imus? Seriously, what the hell happened to you? Making cozy with the Religious Right, coming out strongly in support of the Iraqi War, pro-life, and now pro-bombing Iran (and even worse, pro-Beach Boys). It's like Senator McCain was replaced by a pod person in 2003 or so.
In fairness to the Senator, the question he was asked did include the phrase "air mail to Tehran" and he was speaking to a military crowd that I'm sure is in fact pro-bombing Iran. But that's largely beside the point, because it's not like the pundits and reporters are going to carefully explain that. They'll just show a clip of him doing a cappella foreign policy.
So, having lost he moderate vote, gotten his ass kicked on fundraising, and generally trailing in all the polls, McCain has apparently decided to court the elusive "crazy mother-fucker" vote.
Personally, I'm about ready to call the race for McCain, which leaves us with two viable candidates from the Republicans: Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney.
Let's take a look at Rudy first. There is no way in HELL this man could ever be elected President. Ignoring the fact that many people will feel that being a mayor (even of NYC) isn't enough experience, ignoring that he's far too moderate to win the Republican primary (although I grant he could simply run to the right, and no one would really know he had ever moved), a simple fact remains: He's in no way shape or form presidential.
Look at the guy: he's short, he's balding, he has squinty eyes and big ears. He looks like he should be selling used cars, not running the free world. And moreover, can you imagine anyone introducing "President Giuliani?" I don't think so. President Ford. President Carter. President Clinton. President Giuliani? Hell no. And if that wasn't bad enough, the first name Rudy, is going to fucking kill him. In this country we elect Georges and Bills and Rons and Jims. Not Rudys.
Okay, no take a look at Romney. Frankly, Mitt Romney isn't the most presidential name ever either, but other than that, the guy could looks more presidential than anyone I've ever seen. He's young-looking enough to look vibrant, but old-looking enough to look experience. He's got that dark hair with grey streaks that just screams executive. Also his hair looks like it could deflect a bullet, which voters like.
Plus I heard the guy speak the other day and he's damn fine speaker, very likable, seems to know his shit pretty well. All in all, this is definitely the guy I'd put my money on to be elected president in 2008.
Except for one little thing: he's Mormon. Despite the fact that it's absurd, people aren't really comfortable with Mormons. It's interesting that every is talking about the possibility of the first black president, or the first woman president, and whether or not people would be willing to vote for Obama or Clinton. Personllay though, I think the big question is, are we ready for a Mormon in the White House? Also, how do you decide which wife is the "First" lady?
(In all seriousness, Romney, like most Mormons, is not polygamist. But that's a good example of the sort of joke you'd hear again and again during a Romney campaign.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-zoPgv_nYg
John, who the fuck is advising you on this campaign, Don Imus? Seriously, what the hell happened to you? Making cozy with the Religious Right, coming out strongly in support of the Iraqi War, pro-life, and now pro-bombing Iran (and even worse, pro-Beach Boys). It's like Senator McCain was replaced by a pod person in 2003 or so.
In fairness to the Senator, the question he was asked did include the phrase "air mail to Tehran" and he was speaking to a military crowd that I'm sure is in fact pro-bombing Iran. But that's largely beside the point, because it's not like the pundits and reporters are going to carefully explain that. They'll just show a clip of him doing a cappella foreign policy.
So, having lost he moderate vote, gotten his ass kicked on fundraising, and generally trailing in all the polls, McCain has apparently decided to court the elusive "crazy mother-fucker" vote.
Personally, I'm about ready to call the race for McCain, which leaves us with two viable candidates from the Republicans: Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney.
Let's take a look at Rudy first. There is no way in HELL this man could ever be elected President. Ignoring the fact that many people will feel that being a mayor (even of NYC) isn't enough experience, ignoring that he's far too moderate to win the Republican primary (although I grant he could simply run to the right, and no one would really know he had ever moved), a simple fact remains: He's in no way shape or form presidential.
Look at the guy: he's short, he's balding, he has squinty eyes and big ears. He looks like he should be selling used cars, not running the free world. And moreover, can you imagine anyone introducing "President Giuliani?" I don't think so. President Ford. President Carter. President Clinton. President Giuliani? Hell no. And if that wasn't bad enough, the first name Rudy, is going to fucking kill him. In this country we elect Georges and Bills and Rons and Jims. Not Rudys.
Okay, no take a look at Romney. Frankly, Mitt Romney isn't the most presidential name ever either, but other than that, the guy could looks more presidential than anyone I've ever seen. He's young-looking enough to look vibrant, but old-looking enough to look experience. He's got that dark hair with grey streaks that just screams executive. Also his hair looks like it could deflect a bullet, which voters like.
Plus I heard the guy speak the other day and he's damn fine speaker, very likable, seems to know his shit pretty well. All in all, this is definitely the guy I'd put my money on to be elected president in 2008.
Except for one little thing: he's Mormon. Despite the fact that it's absurd, people aren't really comfortable with Mormons. It's interesting that every is talking about the possibility of the first black president, or the first woman president, and whether or not people would be willing to vote for Obama or Clinton. Personllay though, I think the big question is, are we ready for a Mormon in the White House? Also, how do you decide which wife is the "First" lady?
(In all seriousness, Romney, like most Mormons, is not polygamist. But that's a good example of the sort of joke you'd hear again and again during a Romney campaign.)
Labels: john mccain, mitt romney, mormon, presidential race
posted by drs at 1:32 PM
1 Comments:
Great analysis (very funny)! Since you're on the subject of the candidates, I thought I'd drop you a link to my own website which attempts to organize the YouTube candidate videos by issue...
www.ExpertVoter.org
I wouldn't claim it's the only site a voter would need to research the candidates, but I think it could still be useful as a good overall summary of positions.
gary
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