Super Double Bonus Figs
Holy crap, folks. It's a BONUS POST! That's right, this week I managed to drag my lazy ass of the couch not once, but TWICE in order to post new updates.
Today's post has no real unifying theme, there were just a few things on my mind, and I thought post them up.
First and foremost, if you haven't heard, Dick Cheney shot a man in the face. The Vice President of the United States...shot a man...in the face.
Now you might think I would do a whole post worth of jokes on that. But I'm not going to. Why? (1) The Daily Show did so many great jokes, I feel like they stole every possible angle. If you can catch the February 13th episode in reruns or online do so. Funniest first segment ever. (2) The event frankly speaks for itself in terms of humor. The Veep. Took a gun. Filled with birdshot. Shot a man. In the arm? No, not in the arm, in the face.
So since I'm not going to talk a ton about that, what I'd rather discuss is this: Has there every been a sketch or comedy bit in which Dick Cheney was the Penguin from the old live Batman show? Is this something I saw on the Daily Show or SNL? Or has nobody else made this connection yet? Seriously, listen to his voice. It's uncanny.
The other big thing in the news these days: the Winter Olympics where you can watch (in order of likelihood to put you in a coma)...curling...or the luge...or ice skating...or hockey.
My thoughts on the Winter Olympics:
(1) Why the hell is snowboarding in the Olympics? I get that they want to attract a younger audience, but have less than two Americans ever won medals in a snowboarding event? Seriously, who is our competition? The legions of Brazilian snowboarders? Speaking of this do they relax the rules on number of continents on which a sport must be played for the Winter Olympics? Because otherwise, how is snowboarding in it? Are their more than a dozen countries that have snowboarders? Not to mention the luge. A lot of lugers in South America are their?
(2) Bode Miller...what an ass.
(3) Has anyone seen Chad Hedrick at these games? First off, his teeth are frighteningly large. Secondly, he's gay right? I mean, he lisps...announcers keep talking about some guy who's his "good friend", he's got to be gay right?
(4) To give you an idea of exactly how lame the Winter Olympics actually are: American Idol had more American viewers on Tuesday than NBC's coverage of the Olympics.
And last but not least, ESPN.Com is reporting that a substitute teacher in...I don't remember where, but who cares...a substitute teacher was arrested for taking $1 a day bribes to a let his students skip gym class. Seriously. I'm not making that up. This happened.
So let me ask you this, when you bribe your substitute with a one-dollar-bill, do you still do that thing where you fold it into your palm and shake it to him all smooth like?
Basically what I'm saying is this: The VP shot a man in the face...students are bribing teachers to skip gym...and every olympian you see on the news keeps saying "the medals don't really matter that much". I think it's the fucking apocalypse people. Watch out.
Today's post has no real unifying theme, there were just a few things on my mind, and I thought post them up.
First and foremost, if you haven't heard, Dick Cheney shot a man in the face. The Vice President of the United States...shot a man...in the face.
Now you might think I would do a whole post worth of jokes on that. But I'm not going to. Why? (1) The Daily Show did so many great jokes, I feel like they stole every possible angle. If you can catch the February 13th episode in reruns or online do so. Funniest first segment ever. (2) The event frankly speaks for itself in terms of humor. The Veep. Took a gun. Filled with birdshot. Shot a man. In the arm? No, not in the arm, in the face.
So since I'm not going to talk a ton about that, what I'd rather discuss is this: Has there every been a sketch or comedy bit in which Dick Cheney was the Penguin from the old live Batman show? Is this something I saw on the Daily Show or SNL? Or has nobody else made this connection yet? Seriously, listen to his voice. It's uncanny.
The other big thing in the news these days: the Winter Olympics where you can watch (in order of likelihood to put you in a coma)...curling...or the luge...or ice skating...or hockey.
My thoughts on the Winter Olympics:
(1) Why the hell is snowboarding in the Olympics? I get that they want to attract a younger audience, but have less than two Americans ever won medals in a snowboarding event? Seriously, who is our competition? The legions of Brazilian snowboarders? Speaking of this do they relax the rules on number of continents on which a sport must be played for the Winter Olympics? Because otherwise, how is snowboarding in it? Are their more than a dozen countries that have snowboarders? Not to mention the luge. A lot of lugers in South America are their?
(2) Bode Miller...what an ass.
(3) Has anyone seen Chad Hedrick at these games? First off, his teeth are frighteningly large. Secondly, he's gay right? I mean, he lisps...announcers keep talking about some guy who's his "good friend", he's got to be gay right?
(4) To give you an idea of exactly how lame the Winter Olympics actually are: American Idol had more American viewers on Tuesday than NBC's coverage of the Olympics.
And last but not least, ESPN.Com is reporting that a substitute teacher in...I don't remember where, but who cares...a substitute teacher was arrested for taking $1 a day bribes to a let his students skip gym class. Seriously. I'm not making that up. This happened.
So let me ask you this, when you bribe your substitute with a one-dollar-bill, do you still do that thing where you fold it into your palm and shake it to him all smooth like?
Basically what I'm saying is this: The VP shot a man in the face...students are bribing teachers to skip gym...and every olympian you see on the news keeps saying "the medals don't really matter that much". I think it's the fucking apocalypse people. Watch out.
posted by drs at 11:50 AM
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